One of the questions we get a lot is, “You say that ‘CMG is primarily attended by GBT men over 40.’
Can you expand on the “T” aspect of that?”
CMG on Trans Men
In our years of learning and growing, many of the leaders of CMG have had the chance, in different places in their lives, to meet and get to know numerous trans men. Although gay and bi men cannot ever fully know the experience that trans men have gone through, we can empathize with having felt like not being the person that the world thinks and tells us we should be.
As such, we welcome trans men at the CMG.
That said, we want to be honest that:
1] Trans men currently make up a VERY small number of our attendees. We only know of a few who have come, though we truly believe we have been welcoming to those we knew of. In the spring of ’25, one trans man came out to us at the end of the weekend and we told him we really hope to see more of him (and his husband who was there). Happily, they said they DO plan to come again. We think you’d feel welcome if you came, too, but you should not be under the impression that, at this time, there are many trans men at our Gatherings. Our attendance is almost all gay and bi, with a handful of trans and open-minded straight guys coming now and then.
2] Our board and planning committee would hope that all attendees would share our appreciation for such men, but we cannot guarantee it. Likely, we’ve all heard transphobic statements from gay and bi men at times, even though they should know better. What we can guarantee you is that, in the unlikely event of a conflict, we would stand by our trans brothers…and have when questions have come up.
CMG on Trans Women
We stand by the rights and dignity of our trans sisters, supporting their fierceness and their big hearts. This, however, is a men’s organization. If you do not identify as a man in your heart, we’d ask you to really consider whether an organization called California Men’s Gatherings would be something you’d see as a fit for you.
CMG on those who do not identify as male or female
This one is trickier and more personal, so we simply leave it up to you. If you feel in touch with your male side enough that a retreat created for men and called “California Men’s Gatherings” feels right to you, then we welcome you.